i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
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This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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