i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
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He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
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OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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