he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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