just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize