The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize