That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
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Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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