What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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