Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize