question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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