You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize