dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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