So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I hate all girls vehemently.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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