There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
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then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
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