were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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