now i know why i became what i already was.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
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He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
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I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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