Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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