Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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