you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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