Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
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I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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