I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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