That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
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We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
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When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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