My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize