i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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