would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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