After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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