meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
vagina is talking i cant
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
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He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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