My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
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I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I know her cup size but not her name....
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