A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
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walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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