dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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