I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize