in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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