Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize