Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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