I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize