dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Ladies don't puke and tell
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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