When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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