so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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