Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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