I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize