The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize