Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
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He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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