he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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