I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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