he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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