i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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