I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize