I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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