I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize