Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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