she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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